How to Manage Multiple Kids at Home During Maternity

I found out about my third pregnancy when my daughter was about 18 months old. To be brutally honest, I wasn’t expecting to expect at least for another year. But I was at least a bit excited, and so was my husband.

Our eldest then was a boy of six. So, naturally we were wondering which gender would rule the household in a few years time. Since the toddler was only 18 months old, and by virtue of being the youngest, she was the undisputed Queen of the house. Even my son was always on the edge – just to satisfy every single demand of hers. My husband wanted another girl – just to even out the power structure a bit, while I was thinking a playmate wouldn’t be a bad idea for my son, and the boys would look after their sister for the rest of their lives. But, for us, it didn’t hold anything of value – since we both knew, no matter what God would bless us with, we would love her or him, like we do the other children.

And such were the first few days – a blissful heaven all around.  Coming up with names, finding the perfect place for the second crib or stockpiling clothes both new and from the storage were all I was engaged in. The days were flying by like autumn bridges and I was riding in it like dry conifer leaves. And why wouldn’t I?

Up until 10-11 weeks, I thought I had everything under control. My son was engaged with a home tuition teacher with SmileTutor, who was very capable and sincere and my ever reliable husband was trying his best to make my life a bit easier. By the starting of week 12, my body started showing signs of pregnancy. Nausea and fatigue started creeping in. The simple day-to-day household chores, looking after an 18 months old and a six year old and the bare minimum of living in an urban household started taking their toll. I got grumpy, became tired every second of my waking hours and the joy of becoming the mother of a third child seemed like a faint illumination a million light years out of reach.

But instead of throwing out the towel, I pulled myself together and reached out for help – to our parents, older moms of our neighbourhood, in the various sites online, my physician and anything and everything I could avail myself to.

And as I looked back after two years since my third child arrived, here are a few tips that helped me go through the ordeal. Maybe not as smoothly as I could have hoped, but they certainly played their part to help me get through. I sure hope these ideas would help any pregnant mother with a tot or two in tow to make things better:

Let Things Slide A Bit

The bedrooms look like a volcano has erupted nearby and left its mark on them. When the toddler crawls on the carpet, you seem to realize that the rugs might have not been vacuumed since the day they were set covering the floor.  The dust seems to have had a field day for the last thousand days in a row and soon the furniture might refuse to bear the brunt and simply would break down. These are the common scenarios in almost every household with a pregnant mother with toddlers. So what do you do now about them? The answer is simple – prioritize your health and wellbeing above everything else. As long as the rest of the family has food daily, know that you are doing just fine. So ignore the rest and find shortcuts for the daily chores.

The TV Is Your New Bestie

When my son was getting to the age of watching television or playing games on our phones, I probably read a million articles about the adverse effects of excessive screen times. You probably have done the same and known about the same, but believe me on this when I say, now is not the time to dwell on those insights. Because things are a bit different now since you are tired, fatigued, and are suffering continuously gaseous discomforts, with a toddler whose looking after is a 24/7 job for the next 2-3 years or so. Sometimes, when it is barely impossible to hold yourself standing, it is ok to let the children be engulfed by the TV. Tune in the cartoon they would die for and award yourself a precious 40-50 minutes of lying and regrouping yourself.

Online Shopping

When you are pregnant, indulge in a shopping spree for however important stuff you may feel the need for – be it groceries or diapers – shop everything online. When you grocery shop online, you will be amazed how much time and energy it can save.

Ask For Help

My son was four when I was pregnant with my daughter. He was then enrolled in the pre-school and he was busy there for three hours at a stretch in three days a week. I looked after him for the rest of his time at home. When I wasn’t up for the job of taking care of him, my husband took over. When he wasn’t available, I looked for help from my mom and my mother-in-law. I also needed to hire a babysitter to come over a few times whenever there wasn’t anyone around.

The point is there is absolutely no shame in asking for help. Pregnancy is a mammoth task and requires your best version to bring a healthy child in the world.

Sleep Whenever You Can

After 25 weeks, no matter how physically fit you think you are, more often than not you will find yourself embroiling through the days. You will find that proper sleep at night becomes so rare you wish you slept well when you had had the chance. And if you are already a mother, then changing diapers, feeding or nightmares causing the preschooler sharing your bed are the reasons you may not sleep well. But when you become pregnant with all of those, your physical condition will now take over and won’t let you sleep. So, it’s a must that you make the best use of the very little time of calm and quiet or physical comfort you get and sleep – however little the stretch might be. You can sneak in the bed when the toddler is asleep or the boy is off to school for a few hours. Take them with grace and recharge yourself for the recurring drudgery again.

Be Innovative While Playing

There are many games you can play with the children which warrant very little physical effort – puzzles, different types of board games, video games made for kids, coloring animals, a picnic with the animal collection – anything that you can take part enjoying the comfort of the couch and saving your feet or the back while also keeping you sane. My husband’s favorite game is letting our son draw his picture while he pretends to sleep. My son thinks his father is pretending but I know for sure that he is doing anything but pretending. You can also look for movies and videos which are suitable for enjoying with kids.

Believe In Yourself

Rearing a tiny person consisting of literally a cell to the full weight of seven and half pounds inside your body while doing the same for another human is the very definition of a hard and difficult task. What you see in the newsfeed of various social media may prompt you believing it’s all glamorous but the truth is the reality is a different thing altogether. So, never compare yourself with another woman, even if it’s your mom. Know that every pregnancy is different and you are the one who is making the tiresome journey. So, be gentle on yourself and believe that you are doing everything you can to make other peoples’ lives happy.

Pregnancy itself is a complicated aspect of a woman’s life, and parenting is something that the very fabric of our future society depends on. Now, when you couple these together, the level of hardship is raised to a whole new level. But every woman knows that it’s worth every second of it. I sincerely hope my effort will help ease some of your hardships.